Of Ambuli…

(is Ambuli the plural of Ambulance?)

Today… whilst on my way out to the chemists I was stopped at a set of traffic lights. It was a two lane junction – both lanes could proceed onto the dual carriageway up ahead.

So… an ambulance siren sounds behind us – quite far back – and I see the driver is coming up the right hand side of the queue.

There are three vehicles in my lane – I’m the rearmost vehicle – and it’s a closed in junction where there is nowhere to go to get out of the way, so that option is closed to us.

Luckily, the lights change so we can set off and clear the junction.


The lights change and we SHOULD clear the junction…

So what happens?

Imbecile A (the front most vehicle) pulls forward of the line, cuts in front of the vehicle in the left hand lane (who WAS about to do the right thing and set off so the junction was clear). Nearly causing a collision.

Imbecile B (the vehicle immediately in front of me) then proceeds to attempt to pull in behind them, and can’t get out of the way properly because Imbecile A has stopped sharp and is now blocking the road.

Me? Well I managed to squeeze through the gap and just set off straight down the dual carriageway leaving the whole mess behind me.

The ambulance couldn’t get through the gap left by Imbecile A and Imbecile B and their fucklark driving skills.

Here’s the advice from the emergency services.


Think of how a large vehicle will get through the junction even if it involves you pulling on through the junction and letting them pass you afterwards.



Pull out of the way WHEN IT IS SAFE TO DO SO. Use signals to indicate your intention so as to give the drivers plenty of warning as to your actions.

If you commit an offence whilst moving out of the way of an emergency vehicle you can still be prosecuted.

If you attempt to trail an emergency vehicle you can be prosecuted for dangerous driving (and most of them have CCTV remember)

If the junction is blocked such that they can’t possibly get through the emergency vehicle will turn off their lights and sirens until the junction clears and then they will carry on as before.

Ploughman’s Lunch

As a bassist in a club band I often see these hanging behind the bar when I play gigs in Working Men’s Clubs across the country.Ploughmans_Lunch_Cheese_Cream_Crackers_and_Pickled_Onions_Snack_Pack_38g

Ashens – the cruellest of critics gives one a review…

Although, to be honest, I’ve had these and I didn’t think they were THAT bad… but at least mine were in date – which I do suspect is why his cheese looked a bit “wrong”.

More faffing.

I’ve spent the first part of the evening faffing with the Behringer XR18 again.

As we get closer to the first gig I am getting jitters – it is such a massive change to our set up that I’m concerned it could all go horribly wrong mid set. Mostly because I don’t trust WiFi to be strong and stable enough in all venues

I’ve set up the wired network through a TPlink power over mains system so we can essentially run an extension lead out from the Behringer and use it as a feed for wired Ethernet.

I know I could just run a CAT5 cable, but this method gives us WiFi from the TPlink plugs.

I could be unnecessarily tetchy, but I just want to make sure Saturday goes swiftly and well.


Comments Evolved

I turned on Comments Evolved plugin on my WordPress site. It allows you to cross comment to G+ and Facebook, as well as still commenting using WordPress comments if you wish.

I am aware that Facebook commenting may be broken for some users – but the author of Comments Evolved has assured us of a fix before long.

Of being a fat bastard

As those of you who know me will be aware, I’ve been losing weight now since around May. I’ve gone down from a 42″ waist (snug at that) to a 38″ waist – my aim is a comfortable 36.

Much of this was health related – as I get older (I am in my 40’s now) I have noticed joint pain is an issue in a morning, and my feet have been subject to some pretty chronic Plantar Fasciitis (which if you’ve never had it – pray you never do get it – the inability to walk in comfort is horrible).

I’m also aware of the implications for heart disease (my uncle died of a heart attack, my dad had one in the 90’s so it’s not looking good for me – although both these were lifestyle related – BUT… I do have the genetics to be very fat!)

A health practitioner told me that, whilst my BMI was in the obese range, I should not use BMI as a true marker as it is a bit of a “one size fits all” and it doesn’t account for body shape and bulk – and takes no account of muscle to fat ratios. So we scrapped BMI, she weighed me, measured my height, took some other measurements and finally came up with a “target weight” and a “perfect weight”.

This was the first time I’ve ever had this happen – usually doctors just say “you need to lose some weight” but never quantify it. My targets were 100kg for a target – and should I reach my target and feel the need to go lower my perfect weight is 85kg. As she stated to me quite clearly “you’re a big lad and if you weighed any less than that you’d look wrong”.

I’m now hovering around the target and aiming for 95 next – but the weight loss has slowed now as I’ve started to reintroduce some of the luxuries I’ve been missing. I monitor my weight every single week and I’m trying to balance what I can safely eat – I think I’ll probably end up hovering somewhere between 85 and 90kg when I reach a comfortable weight.

But what do I realise as a result of this weight loss? Well I always encourage anyone to try and shed those excess pounds – not because you’ll feel better (even though you will – I feel so much fitter!) but because clothes shopping becomes a delight instead of a chore!

No longer do you find yourself plunging your arm to the very back of the trousers rail to find the 42″ and 44″ waists. You’re in the middle of the rack and you have choice. The XXL shirts you used to buy are now XL again. But the best thing is the fit of clothes! – you no longer feel shoehorned into them, conscious of every single bump and lump on your ample belly – yes I still have a belly – but the fit of my clothes is so much better and when I get rid of a little more of it I am sure I’ll be even happier still!

The final thing though, is digging out all your old clothes and finding that pair of jeans you loved so much now fits you again and you can zip up the fly and close the button without having to breathe in. I have a pair of trousers in my wardrobe hung up – they’re nothing special – but they are a 36″ waist. I will consider it my goal to finally fit into those comfortably.

The bad side… when you’ve invested £400 in various stage wear and other very fancy clothing and you realise that you’re soon going to look like a clown in it.

New Devices!

I’m rather surprised by the stance on the new Nexus devices regarding wireless charging. I’m not surprised. I’ve had a few devices now with wireless charging and I must say I hardly use it – it’s a bit of a gimmick – it’s slow – but worse still, as a cat owner I find my phone seldom stays on the charger pad overnight and so I then have to contend with a flat phone in the morning.

I can see a use – as someone based in an office I can see a charger on the desk being a book – indeed, were I still office based I suspect I’d have a charger on my desk at all times – but I’m not.

The rest of the specs on the Nexus devices are rather cool, although I can’t say I’m exactly diving at them – but then again I do have the flagship Samsung device (S6 edge) and so I suppose it would be a downgrade of sorts. Unlike the competition (the fruity one) the new devices are a step in the right direction and a serious upgrade from the older ones.

What has surprised me, though, is how all the manufacturers are clambering to release their Android Marshmallow updates first. I hope this trend continues because it’s really driving competition in the Android market. I seriously expect the update icon on my S6 Edge before the end of October!

Google, on the other hand, have really pulled a blinder with the new Chromecast devices! – the Chromecast itself looks like a nice update with improved signal (which can’t be a bad thing). I’m surprised the Nexus Player hasn’t been updated though – but I hope we get Marshmallow soon as it’s still not quite the red hot product I would have hoped.

The absolute blinder though – Chromecast Audio – or as we will probably know it in 3 years – the killer of overpriced multi room speaker systems. I love my Sonos – but had this been out a year ago I suspect we would have gone down a different route. I can still see a use for one in the PA system to play background music before a gig. Even less wires is a good thing!

The online home of Kris Hudson-Lee